How to End an Unproductive Relationship with a Three-Letter Word

Several days ago I added some new practices to my life as part of my 90-day health plan.  I only have one goal.  To do this for 90 days. That's a big goal for me. I  have never gotten past 30 days doing anything related to health changes. I decided that focusing on diet and food probably wasn't going to cut it.  I needed to go deeper into my heart, mind and soul. So I am journaling.  I have many Christian friends who practice writing or meditating on Bible passages, and it seems to ground them in very beautiful ways.

Don Miguel Ruiz's Little Book of Wisdom: The Essential Teachings by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr is the book I am using for inspiration. Each day I randomly take a passage and then write briefly about it. I have to do it first thing in the morning before my day gets away from me.  I do it at the same time I am filling out a log of what I plan to eat, how I will exercise, how I am feeling and my weight.  It is all part of the PLAN.

You may now be asking some questions:  Why are you doing this?  Why 90 days? Why do you think this will work? Why that book? Why are you weighing yourself each day?

Okay, maybe you are not be asking these questions, but I would be.  Why? Because I am a Why Woman.

I have always believed that if I can find the answer to Why, I can change either myself or someone else.  Too often someone else.

Here's the truth.  Asking Why makes me look backwards, stay in my head, make judgements, question my choices and live in a place of regret.  Most importantly,  it immobilizes me.  I get so caught up in analysis that I am continuously in paralysis.

The thing about my 90-day plan? It actually requires action.  I need to move every day. I need to stay under a certain calorie count.  It requires action based on discipline minus distraction.   (I love distraction!  I wonder Why? Damn it, caught in the Why trap again.)

All these thoughts have come from my passage for today from the Little Book:

People often say, “Tell me why! I want to know why!” ‘’Why” is not important. Something is or is not. You take it or you leave it; and that is it. There are no right or wrong choices, you make them right or you make them wrong. You can create a new dream, by making choices, by making decisions and taking action with awareness.

Boy, that is brutal.  Give up my Why? That may be harder than giving up Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.   But this Ruiz wisdom feels gut right.   And I am not even going to ask myself  Why?  Instead I am going to focus on the How.

I'll keep you posted.

The Revolution Against Resolutions

On New Year's Eve, Kelly's 7-year old daughter Audrey asked us: "Are you going to set any New Year's Revolutions?  We found the question very funny! It got me thinking once again all about the value or lack thereof of New Year's resolutions. So I'm proposing a "Resolution Revolution". Every year at this time we feel compelled to commit to change everything in our lives that we think needs changing. We love the concept of a clean slate. Vows are made to lose weight, exercise regularly, quit smoking, cut down on drinking, give up wheat and sugar. We commit to be on time and quit wasting our lives perusing Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest. The gym is always overcrowded for the first 3 weeks of January.

By February most of the new year's resolution people are gone. We no longer have to wait to use our favorite exercise equipment or get a bike in spin class.

I do believe in the value of setting realistic goals that are accompanied by consistent habits for their execution. Why I rebel  against New Year's resolutions is because for the most part they RARELY work. With totally unrealistic expectations on January 1st, we set ourselves up for failure. New Year's resolutions also tend to affirm how much we tell ourselves we're not good enough the way we are. I am not against self- improvement, we should all strive to do the best we can every day. Lofty resolutions get set at the beginning of every year with expectations that the desired changes will magically occur quickly. What is required is a strong foundation of good habits for the long-term.

I think the chances of successful transformation are far greater when we give up the self loathing and comparing our insides to other people's outsides. Let's move from a place of self-love and acceptance. We will have a much greater chance of developing the necessary habits that can bring about the positive lasting change we desire.