Let Your Inner Lion Roar

Today as I write this I am in Day #14 of our new normal life in isolation during the global Covid-19 pandemic. A few weeks ago I started to write a post about how we've been living "caged" existences, long for a freer life that is both exciting and inspiring. I believe most of us have a Lion within us that longs to be released to ROAR now more than ever!

In a conversation over lunch at our favorite Indian restaurant a few weeks ago, my close friend Jeff was conveying his deep frustration and how he dreamed of experiencing more adventure and freedom in life. He is in his early 40’s with a wife, 2 kids, a mortgage and a stressful career. Yesterday he texted me asking : “Are we having fun yet"? We had a subsequent phone conversation laughing about the good old days 2 weeks ago when we could freely meet up for a meal, coffee, go to the gym or skiing, We even miss being able to go to our offices. No doubt our lives have been totally turned upside down! Talk about "caged" existences, we are indeed in uncharted territory now!

As I reflect on the time of life when I was at the same stage of life as Jeff, I had the 3 kids under the age of 5, a marriage that was going flat, a mortgage on the big suburban house and a career in a toxic family business. I was frustrated too, adored my kids yet felt trapped. In reality life seems to go even faster than we were told it would when we were young. I adore my kids as much if not more than ever! They are in their 20’s, grown up and live independently. Two them are far away now and I’m blessed with a beautiful new grandson who luckily lives nearby.

I'm in my 60's now, feel young & quite healthy, So much has changed as I’ve grown older. For the most part, I have a much greater sense of serenity and inner peace. I’ve endured many of life’s challenges, divorce, heartbreak, the loss of loved ones and friends as well personal struggles with addiction and depression. While this time in isolation is challenging, I am grateful that I have many tools to maintain that peace of mind.

I relate to what my buddy is experiencing. In that stage of life we are mostly outwardly focused, busy building our careers, families, homes and status. We aren’t as focused on the inner work needed to experience a truly fulfilling life. As I reflect back at that time and compare it to how life is for me today, what is totally different is that I am more inwardly focused now. What used to seem so important no longer matters. Giving much of my stuff away and living a simpler less cluttered existence brings me a deeper sense of serenity.

In these days of solitude it might be tempting to get negative and fearful. What I am choosing is to take the time to dive deeper within , listening to the songs of my soul. My LION is roaring with love, hope and gratitude, We will get through this time with a much greater awareness of what truly matters in liife,

Be the LOVE you seek and let your inner LION roar!

Rebelling Against Fickle Men

I've been living in the on-line dating world for awhile. Everything about me wants to rebel against this strange way to meet guys and maybe even find romance. But there actually doesn't seem to be too many alternatives. Generally it can be a lot fun.  I like the dating part and meeting new people.  I'm not too nervous because I don't take it too seriously.  But when I do, I seem to get myself into trouble. Why?

Fickle men.

Growing up hippy, I never learned manspeak.  So I actually thought that when a guy says:  "I need some space because of life issues"  he was saying "I need some space because of life issues."  And when he said: "It's not you. It's me."  he meant "It's not you. It's me."

I really truly did not know it meant: "Two days ago I thought I loved you, but guess not. Bye."

Fickle men.

When did it become so difficult to just say: "You are cool.  I am cool.  But the relationship probably isn't.  Let's split and discover new adventures."

Come on,  that can't be all that hard. Why don't guys just say what they mean?  Or maybe they don't know.  Hmmm...

And how can you go from 100% in to 100% out in one breath? Doesn't it take time to get over someone you have shared your body, heart and mind with?

And wouldn't you actually like to be friends with an ex-lover?  I would.

These are men I truly liked or I would not spend time with them.  Romance is cool.  But I really really adore my guy friends.

So why exactly do these splits need to be so clean? Isn't life supposed to be sort of messy?

As you can hear,  I've got way more questions than answers about this whole dating/romance/who knows thing.

Fickle life.

Living an Intentional Balanced Life is Rebellious

Americans pride  themselves on their hard work ethic often to the detriment of their health, relationships and family lives. How often do we hear, "I'm always working", or "I'm available 24/7?" I work in the commercial real estate industry and am constantly told by many of my colleagues and friends that all they do is work when they're not eating or sleeping. Is it  supposed to be a badge of honor to be a workaholic? I don't think so, in fact I see burnout to be a very serious health and wellness crisis in this country. I am troubled when I hear how an associate doesn't have time to workout, go to their kid's games or performances, or just take some good quality personal time to recharge for fear of missing that big deal.  Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, not be a tyrannical master that demands we answer every call, text, e-mail or tweet.

Recently I have read many articles by "human potential experts" that  discourage  multi tasking and constantly checking our phones and e-mail. It actually makes us much less productive.

I am reminded of an old story about two fire wood cutters who were working side by side. One chopped non stop without taking a break all day. The other, took a 15 minute break every hour. At the end of the day the guy who took the breaks had chopped three times as much  wood as his partner did, who couldn't understand how that was possible. Extremely annoyed, he asked "what do you do on all those breaks you take?" His answer......" I sharpen my axe."

This  rebel made a decision many years ago that I would do my best to live a balanced life while working in a business that often discourages that. I  meditate & pray, exercise & play regularly, eat a pretty healthy diet and spend quality fun time with my loved ones and friends.  I call this my rebellion against burnout and ill-health.  Sometimes I fall short but I  have learned where the off buttons are on my phone and computer and turn them off frequently in order to tune in to all the beauty around and within me.