I have been practicing meditation for many years. As I listen to the silence I realize that observing the intrusive thoughts that arise with detachment is rebellious. Our egos constantly create states of restlessness and discontent. Who is doing the observing when we become aware of our thoughts and simply watch them pass through our minds? How do we discern the difference between egoic thinking and the intuition of our spirit? For me it has taken a long time and a lot of practice just to come close to the awareness of the difference. I pray for guidance to be led and inspired by a power greater than myself. When thoughts are agitating, critical or negative, I perceive them as egoic and do my best to observe and let them go. When thoughts are uplifting, generate feelings of truth, beauty, goodness and serenity during meditation they are most likely spiritually inspired. I work on sitting in the observers seat no matter what and attempt to not become attached to the non stop movement of my mind.
This level of awareness can often be experienced simply by stopping and breathing deeply right where we are. For many this is known as " Mindfulness", becoming fully aware of what is going on with you in the present moment. Our egos seem to thrive in regrets of the past and fear of the future. The simple act of observation and becoming present is a powerful yet peaceful act of rebellion, our most natural state of being!
For this rebel, challenging my Ego's stranglehold on my consciousness requires vigilance and a determination to become truly liberated. The ego is a tyrant that I choose to rebel against to become free. This rebellion takes us on a journey to the deepest depths of our souls. We must dive into the silence and listen for the voice of God.